Imagine what you could accomplish if you stopped self sabotage.
I’m sure you’ve had that exact thought before.
How many times have you made progress …
Been firing on all cylinders …
And just when you felt like you were about to cross the finish line …
BAM.
You blew yourself up.
I’m basically the Michael Jordan of self sabotage so I know the feeling all too well.
I’ve spoken at length about self sabotage and how to stop it.
Rather than repeat myself, I’ll just link two of the podcast episodes I did on the topic.
Here’s an episode called: Eliminating Self Sabotage
And here’s one called: Why We Self Sabotage (And How to Stop it)
Today, I want to talk about a simple reframe that can go a long way in avoiding self sabotage.
It’s pretty powerful if you actually apply it.
First, we have to understand that sabotage is often driven by subconscious (or conscious) fear.
This can be nuanced but in the case of weight loss, it’s often fear of failure or a lack of belief in your ability to succeed.
We often think … “I’ll be happy when these 20 lbs. are gone.”
But, our actual belief is that we’ll never get them off.
So, once we start making progress, we subconsciously sabotage.
That’s just one example.
Rather than going into therapist mode and talking about the root of that fear and your lack of belief …
I want to shift the focus.
These emotions are strongly driven by our emphasis on an outcome or end result.
We fantasize about the perfect body.
The ideal relationship.
The many digits in our bank account.
And yet, we completely ignore what truly matters on the path to achieving those things.
Combine that with the fact that we’re often afraid of failing in our pursuit of that goal …
AND have a lack of belief that we can actually get there …
It should come as no surprise that self sabotage runs rampant in almost every human.
So, here’s the reframe …
Stop focusing on the finish line.
That doesn’t mean to remove your goals.
It’s great to have targets.
It simply means that the process is more important than the product.
Here’s why this is so effective …
The daily results are almost unnoticeable.
In the case of fat loss … fat doesn’t melt off your body each day.
It happens in micro amounts.
So, if each day you wake up and step on the scale and use that number to determine your success or failure …
That’s called setting yourself up to self sabotage.
That would be like waking up every morning and checking your bank account balance and assessing your worth based on the number.
The reason why this is destined to fail is because negative emotions are 7x stronger than positive emotions.
Meaning … if the scale went down 5 days out of the week and only went up 2 days out of the week … you’re still in a net negative emotional state.
Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t weigh yourself.
I don’t know your relationship with the scale.
Some people step on the scale to simply keep an eye on data over time and use it as part of the process.
The number is simply the number and it has no effect on their emotional response.
If that’s you … amazing.
Weighing can be a great tool to keep tabs on progress.
If you are driven emotionally by the number, that’s a red flag that you are way too outcome focused and are likely a self sabotager.
Shift your focus from the product to the process.
The reframe from the product to the process isn’t an easy one but it can completely eliminate your self sabotage tendencies.
There are 3 specific questions we ask our 1 on 1 clients to ensure that they are process focused …
1. Does this feel manageable/doable/sustainable?
2. Are you enjoying the process?
3. How do you feel?
First, we need to ensure that they are 100% confident in what they’re doing.
Change is hard. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming.
We like to keep things simple and sustainable.
So, If they aren’t a 10 out of 10 confident in executing … then we need to make an adjustment.
Second, this is supposed to be fun.
You are literally on the pursuit of becoming the best version of you.
If done properly, it can have a profound positive impact on your quality of life, relationships, career, confidence, and well-being.
If it’s not enjoyable … what the fuck are we doing it for??
And third, you should actually be FEELING better through the process.
Typically, this looks like more energy, better sleep, improved mood, feeling stronger, increased sex drive, etc.
These are all signs that the process can easily become a lifestyle.
The first phase of our 1 on 1 coaching program that we implement with our clients is our Neurotyping Principles.
The reason is simple …
When you align your nutrition, training, and lifestyle with your nature … you’ll be able to stay more consistent, feel more like yourself, have less stress, and enjoy the process more.
The nice bonus effect of that Is quicker results.
We’re quite literally priming your brain so you have a better mood and actually WANT to continue with the process.
Next, we implement a Metabolic Priming phase to help you feel your best.
Neurotyping takes care of consistency and enjoyability.
Metabolic Priming takes care of how you feel.
This is where our clients notice body composition improvements, more energy, less hunger, better performance, improved digestion, quality sleep, and better sex.
And lastly, we put the finishing touches on the process with our Lifestyle Integration phase.
Really we want to be sure of two things with this phase …
1. The results are sustainable for LIFE. No more regaining weight or self sabotaging.
2. You ultimately graduate and feel 100% confident and self sufficient in continuing on your own.
In total, it usually takes between 6-12 months to get there, depending on the person.
Usually, our clients lose 20-30 lbs. on average in 6 months but that’s simply a byproduct of the process.
We are taking on a few more 1 on 1 clients this month, so if this sounds like something you’re interested in and you want to stop self sabotage once and for all …
You can book a call here: https://calendly.com/pop-3/consult
