How about you stop complaining and just get it done?
One summer I went to a basketball camp and had a coach that was a total hard ass.
He had zero patience for excuses or complaining.
I remember feeling like I didn’t want to speak up because I knew he would basically tell me to stfu and do it anyway.
It’s funny because it actually got me to stop over thinking and just play. I stopped worrying about the refs or the wind when we were scrimmaging outside and I just played ball.
However, some of the other kids really struggled to play well for this coach.
Not because they weren’t talented. Just because that style didn’t work for them.
What style of coaching works best for YOU?
Mel and I hosted a coaching call for our Essentials program and it was really impactful.
We spent over an hour chatting and answering questions and just learning more about the various struggles and wins of our clients.
Someone mentioned that she is struggling with trying to be perfect. That it bothers her when she only gets 9,000 steps and not 10,000. That when she can’t track perfectly, she wants to quit. Even though she makes great choices and is very consistent … she has all or nothing tendencies and is frustrated when things aren’t executed to perfection.
For her, our advice was to ease up. To give herself a break.
She talked about the struggle of tracking a meal out with her kids who are home from college and how it was weighing on her brain.
We told her to stop tracking those meals altogether. To just enjoy the time with her family and be present.
The exact opposite advice as STFU and just get it done.
Finding the balance between tough love and pushing forward
Now … the interesting thing about that is some people need the tough love.
Some people need to hear that they’re giving themselves too much slack.
That they’re buying into their own bullshit.
That their excuses are getting the best of them.
They may need to push forward.
They may need to get real with themselves and just get it done.
It’s such a fascinating dynamic.
I truly believe that this is the art of coaching.
Knowing what individuals will respond to and coaching accordingly.
Tough love for someone who can’t handle tough love can feel … well, tough.
They might freeze or hide or quit altogether.
Tough love for someone who can handle tough can feel like a wake up call. Like exactly what they needed to get their ass in gear.
Do you need to pull back or push forward?
What is your natural tendency?
You probably need the opposite.
If you’re overly logical, you need to lean more into emotion.
If you’re overly emotional, you need to lean more into logic.
If you’re constantly pushing and going a million miles a minute, you probably need to pull back.
If you’re constantly giving yourself excuses to avoid getting shit done, you probably need to push forward.
Humans struggle with the middle. We struggle with balance and living in the gray.
The gray is where the magic happens.
The gray is where you find harmony.
The gray can also feel really uncomfortable if you’ve never spent time there.
We’re all trying to find a balance.
Quite frankly, I don’t know how this message is supposed to help you. I don’t even know why I’m writing about this.
It was literally a thought from a call that triggered a memory that made me think about the balance that we’re all trying to find.
I don’t really believe in balance in the way that it’s often explained.
I believe in seasons and phases.
But I do believe that living on either end of the extreme is never productive.
So you may need to do the opposite of what you’re prone to do.
Not to change who you are. Simply to nudge yourself closer to the middle.
Closer to the gray.
Away from the all or nothing. Away from the black or white.
Again, this may not make any sense at all. It may not be helpful.
But it was on my mind so I decided to share.
When in doubt, walk more. It’s one of the single best things you can do for your health. How about that? Maybe that’s more relevant lol.