The greater the challenge, the greater the demand for support.
I interviewed Luka Hocevar on my podcast yesterday and it was one of the most profound conversations I’ve ever had (the episode will air on Monday so make sure you’re subscribed to Mind Over Macros wherever you listen to podcasts).
Luka, like me, recognized early on in his coaching career that understanding the X’s and O’s was not nearly enough when it came to getting consistent results.
He discussed the frustration of having a small percentage of clients who were killing it and then a large percentage of clients who were struggling.
So he poured himself into understanding behavior change, human psychology, effective communication, and personal development.
Even with the perfect training and nutrition program, many people won’t succeed.
Consider this …
I could write the absolute perfect training program in the world. And prescribe the perfect macro plan in the world.
And if I gave 100 people the perfect training and nutrition plan and sent them on their way …
About 10% (or less) would stay consistent and see progress. And 90% or more would struggle.
That was the question that bothered me for so long when I first got started as a coach.
Why are so many people struggling?
Fortunately, I had my own demons to deal with so the question wasn’t coming from a judgmental place. It was coming from personal experience.
Why couldn’t I ever stay consistent for longer than a couple of weeks? Why did I always revert back to old behaviors that didn’t serve me? Why did I have the propensity to self destruct?
And why do so few people actually achieve their goals and maintain them?
Those answers cannot be found in the X’s and O’s of nutrition and training. It has nothing to do with energy balance, macros, progressive overload, fasting, cardio, supplementation, meal timing, or anything prescriptive.
It has to do with how we’re wired.
We’re dealing with a complex system that is interconnected and one variable can change the entire system.
It’s mental. Physical. Emotional. Social. Environmental.
For example, I can be cruising along with my plan and seeing great results and then … BAM … I get fired from my job. Or I lose a loved one. Or I have to go through a separation and divorce (all things that have happened to me).
The entire system dynamic just changed.
Or what if I default to old thought patterns about how I’m not enough? Or I’ll never live up to certain expectations (also things I’ve had to navigate and cope with).
Another system disruption.
Or what if I developed really poor coping mechanisms for dealing with uncomfortable feelings (yes, this was also me lol)?
The point here is that it’s not as simple as “stay committed. You’ve got to want it bad enough! Just work harder!”
Even if that’s what the bros on IG are telling you.
Here’s a fun way to navigate that …
When you see someone who has their fitness on point and they look great, physically … and they tell you to simply want it more or try harder or be more dedicated …
Ask them about other areas of their life where they struggle. Like financial literacy or relationships or business or mindset.
Oh, you struggle with relationships? Cool, you should just try harder, want it more, and be more dedicated.
See the hypocrisy in their message?
Trust me, no one has a perfect life, even if that’s what they try to display on social.
They don’t get to cherry pick.
Anyway, I’m veering off track here so let me regroup.
The complexity of change and the pursuit of a future version of you that you desire cannot be understated.
So let’s bring it back to the point that Luka made on my show.
The greater the challenge, the greater the demand for support.
When I wanted to drop a bunch of weight, I started with free information. The back page of a manual that I got from a piece of cardio equipment.
I followed the meal plan to a tee. Lost a bunch of weight and gained it all back.
Then, I tried the $37 ebooks.
Then, I tried the cookie cutter $97 challenges and macro calculations.
You know when everything changed?
When I hired the $4,000 coach.
No more weight regain. No more banging my head against the wall. No more questioning if anything will ever work for me.
The challenge I was facing was a lot greater than I was making it out to be. In my head, it was simply … lose weight.
In reality, it was heal my relationship with food, change my identity, change my behaviors, instill new habits, remove toxic habits, change my environment, adjust my social circle, sort through negative coping mechanisms, and learn how to sustain my results for life.
My massive challenge required massive support.
When I was displeased with myself and noticed that I was acting out of alignment with my values, I got help.
I started going to therapy every week. And I still go every other week.
I want to be proud of the person that I am.
Big challenge. Requires big support.
Relationships are a challenge no matter what. Even if you think you have the perfect partner. An individual is already complex enough. Now, combine that complexity with another individual and put all your shit and baggage on the table.
That’s what a relationship is.
I believe every couple would benefit tremendously from couples therapy.
Relationships are a huge challenge. They require huge support.
Too frequently we gloss over this concept. We let our egos get in the way.
I spent way too many years of my life living in pride that I should be able to figure things out on my own.
My challenges required way more support than I was letting on.
When you recognize the disconnect, there are only 2 options.
You can aim lower (which most people don’t want to do).
Or you can increase the level of support (which is what I believe most should do).
I took a trip to St. Lucia back in 2015 and hiked a mountain called the Petit Piton.
We had two guides … one in the front and one in the back.
It was a dangerous hike and we needed guides to show us the safest, most effective way to reach the summit and to get back down.
Hiking it alone would’ve increased the risk of injury, never making it to the top, or, even worse, never making it off the mountain at all.
Consider the current mountain that you’re trying to scale. Consider the person that you’re trying to become.
Or how about this … consider how LONG you’ve been trying to scale this current mountain.
Now ask yourself … does the magnitude of this challenge match the magnitude of support that I have?
If it doesn’t, I would seek to change that as soon as possible.
There’s a reason, at POP, that we have varying degrees of support.
We have a group program that offers a certain level of accountability and guidance.
We have a 1:1 program that offers a higher level of hand holding and personalization where we can dive deeper into mental roadblocks.
And then we have coaches who understand functional nutrition, dealing with hormonal imbalances, addressing gut health issues, autoimmune conditions, etc.
Your challenges will determine the level of support that you need.
You can diminish the reality of your challenges. You can continue to operate from a place of ego and “I should be able to …”
Or you can get the help that you truly need and deserve.
I hope you choose the latter.