A few days ago I posted a poll on my IG stories about taking frequent trips to fuckitville. I can’t remember the exact numbers but I believe it was close to 80% that voted that they are “frequent flyers.” So how do you get your mindset out of fuckitville mode?
One of the things I like to do is strike up conversations to learn more about the thought process or circumstances that accompany those trips.
As a student of the game and educator on all things mindset, I never stop learning, asking, exploring.
The root cause of fuckitville mindset
There are some common themes at the ROOT of the issue. It’s important that we get to the root cause because otherwise, you end up in the same cycle over and over again.
The first is the most obvious…
1. Some form of constant restriction in your life.
If fuckitville were a physical destination, you’d see many travelers coming from the land of restriction who finally “cracked.”
Are you trying to achieve your goals through restriction, deprivation, and black/white thinking? If so, sign up for your fuckitville rewards program because you’ll earn your free trip in no time.
Next, is the empty cup issue. It’s like fuckitville doesn’t require any resources or fuel in order for you to get there. I can’t think of an analogy to describe it so I’ll just explain..
2. You put everyone first. You sacrifice yourself for others. You never take the time to recharge your batteries.
Once your tank hits empty, you’re on the next flight to fuckitville.
The solution… prioritize yourself! Easier said than done. But when you finally realize that putting others first is actually selfish and prioritizing you is selfless than you’ll spend much less time in fuckitville.
3. You have self-limiting beliefs.
Of all the conversations I had with the frequent flyers, you’d be amazed at how many times the words “I can’t” were uttered.
When you say “I can’t” you are taking away your own power. You are now a victim. And feeling like you have no control leads to sabotage. Fuckitville, party of 1.
Catch yourself every time you say “I can’t.” Then, think about the facts of the situation. Is it truly a CAN’T? Or is it just a choice or not a priority? What story are you telling yourself that needs a new narrative?
MOST of the time you CAN. You’re just telling yourself you CAN’T. Mindset my friends!
Fuckitville is also a destination for those who haven’t established productive outlets or coping skills when it comes to stress.
Another common theme in my conversations… stress + stress + unproductive outlet = fuckitville.
As with most things, the first step is awareness. Do you see the pattern you’ve created? How can you interrupt that pattern and find a more productive solution?
Last but not least…
You’re afraid of failure so you’re trying to be perfect. You’re afraid to succeed so you self sabotage. You’re afraid of what others might think about you so you’re putting pressure on yourself.
Fear can show up in a number of ways and punch your ticket to fuckitville.
I’ve talked about fear in depth a number of times but the bottom line is this… you can’t outrun it. You can’t hide from it. The only way to get over it is to go THROUGH it.
The important thing to understand about fuckitville is that it’s a place you may visit on occasion for the rest of your life.
The goal is to make those trips less frequent and have a clear path off the island when you get there.
Once you understand the root cause (your travel route to fuckitville) you can destroy that path and make it more difficult to get to.
Having awareness allows you to be like “oh hey, fuckitville, I remember it here… I don’t like it so I’m gonna bounce.”