Part 6: Externally Focused
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having an external goal and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. As long as you are not harming yourself and/or others, go for it!
Regardless of whether you want to lose fat, build muscle, or perform better in the gym… You likely won’t succeed by solely focusing on the external.
The fitness and nutrition industry likes to make it about data. Calorie deficits. Progressive overload. That sort of thing.
But let me ask you this…
Have you ever been derailed by self sabotage?
How about expecting failure?
Have you ever started a nutrition program with a seemingly endless supply of excitement, only to completely lose motivation just a short while after?
What about the frequently visited destination of fuck-it-ville… Ever spend time there?
If you’re anything like me, the answer to all of those questions is a resounding YES.
The solution was not that you needed to macro better.
You couldn’t solve those issues by focusing harder on the external goal.
“If you really wanted to lose that fat you wouldn’t sabotage your efforts!”
Hopefully, you know that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Almost every single transformation that I’ve witnessed over the years, myself included, has started with a mindset shift.
Starting from the inside typically works a helluva lot better than forcing an external goal on an internal struggle.
Mindset is something that gets talked about but is often glossed over. You would think that it’s not as important as energy balance, sets and reps, and the magical anabolic post-workout window.
The reality is that it’s MORE important. It’s more important than the macros, the meal plans, the workouts… all of it.
Remember adherence and sustainability reign supreme. Without the proper mindset, it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain anything long term.
Don’t Ignore the Internal
Trust me, I did it that way for a long time. I ignored the internal and just focused on my external goals.
All that did was land me in a place of body dysmorphia, orthorexia, unfulfilled, and a poor relationship with food and my body.
Maybe you can get to where you want to go without focusing on your mindset. But my guess is it won’t last very long.
The fitness and nutrition industry doesn’t focus on mindset because it’s another aspect that’s not “scalable.” They can’t sell you a cookie cutter mindset solution.
Plus, if you figure out the mindset side of things you might not need them anymore and we wouldn’t want that to happen, would we?!
If your goal is to find your forever solution, it would be wise to begin with your thoughts, the way you communicate with yourself, your self-limiting beliefs, expectations, perception vs reality, victim mentality, and the person that you want to become.
I also want to share a quick comment that my client Elise sent to me that drives home this point (and warms my soul):
“Speaking of mindset wins, my son was officially diagnosed with ADHD last week. Not really a huge deal but for now we want to avoid medication.
And the one thing that has made a huge difference is teaching him to meditate. The mind is such a powerful thing and giving him the tools to help control his impulses has brought a whole new kid around.
He’s so much happier, less frustrated, and his self-esteem seems so much more positive.
I cannot thank you enough for all the mindset work you do! It’s helped me a ton alone, but being able to help my son has brought me to tears (happy tears!) many times. #payitforward #teahemyoung.”
Literally one of the best messages I’ve ever received.