I Felt Like an Outcast – Do You Feel the Same Way?

by | Sep 17, 2020

I always felt like an outcast.

Which, for someone who wants to fit in and get along with everybody, was a tough pill to swallow.

Let’s just say I didn’t take that medicine very well.

Here’s a little of my story …

That feeling began when I found myself sitting at 250 lbs. after college.

I grew up an athlete … and now I didn’t even recognize myself and sure as hell couldn’t do what I used to be able to do on a basketball court so …

I felt like an outcast.

Then I decided that I would lose weight as fast as humanely possible because to me… losing weight = fitting in.

I started doing a ton of cardio (which I hated) and eating 1200 calories per day (which made me miserable).

Lost a bunch of weight. Gained it back.

I felt like an outcast.

That was only the beginning.

Dozens of failed dieting attempts left me in that same spot but feeling a little worse each time.

Because each failed attempt reinforced the story in my head that I’m not good enough, I don’t belong here, and I don’t fit in.

Once I started strength training, I finally found something that I loved doing but the outcast feeling crept back in quickly.

I had a hard time sticking with a program. I’d get bored and jump to the next thing.

And, by that point, I had a horrible relationship with food and my body so I rarely wanted to be social.

It was easier for me to lie and say I had plans or wasn’t feeling well so I could hide my issues alone.

All of this occurred with a giant dose of unawareness.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know …

The first massive eye opening moment happened when I witnessed the struggles of other people at my gym.

I didn’t notice it in myself. But, when I saw other people struggling, I decided to do some research.

I spent countless hours reading research and trying to learn everything I possibly could about nutrition and diets.

I remember thinking … “holy shit … these poor people have no idea what they’re doing to themselves by constantly restricting food and chronically dieting.”

Talk about lack of self awareness.

You know that feeling when you’re pointing the finger at someone but then you realize you’re just pointing at a mirror?

That was me.

The second massive eye opening moment happened in a two hour long conversation with one of my early mentors when he explained to me that my tendency to program hop and get bored easily was simply a part of who I was as a person.

And, it actually wasn’t an issue at all.

He gave me permission to just be me.

To embrace it and lean into it.

Suddenly, I felt my shoulders drop and my mood change.

I wasn’t an outcast at all …

I was just trying to be what I thought I was supposed to be.

I was just trying to do what I thought I was supposed to do.

Rather than figuring out my own path.

That forever changed the way I viewed training and nutrition.

I immediately thought of all the programs out there that try to place everyone in one box.

It made way too much sense why 95% of diets fail.

And why you may feel like an outcast too.

All the hype around certain diets …

The odds are it won’t work for you.

The diet industry wants you to blame yourself.

So that you keep spending more money on shitty programs that don’t work.

Don’t make the mistake that I made for years.

Don’t allow yourself to be placed in a box.

Don’t think that your success can be found in someone else’s plan.

Embrace who you are.

Then forge your own path.

Interested in 1:1 Coaching?

And let me know that you’re interested in the 1:1 signature coaching program.

Are Fear and Anxiety Holding You Back?

Are Fear and Anxiety Holding You Back?

Close your eyes and try to think about anything except a white bear. Give yourself 60 seconds and think any thought you want ... except do NOT think about a white bear. How'd that go? Probably not so well. The white bear effect is a concept that illustrates the more...

read more
Is There Any Hope for the Diet Industry?

Is There Any Hope for the Diet Industry?

Warning ... things are about to get heated. I gave myself time to cool down and I'm still not cool. Before I rant, I figured I should start with some good news. Something quick that'll lift your spirits. My good friends over at Cured Nutrition are offering up to 35%...

read more
Can You Out Train a Bad Diet?

Can You Out Train a Bad Diet?

You actually can out train a bad diet. Remember the show Hard Knocks? It's basically an inside look at one NFL team during training camp and preseason. Mel and I watched this past season with the Lions and it's still highly entertaining. Here's how one athlete out...

read more