You are setting yourself up for failing without even knowing it.
Humans are fascinating.
We are messy, imperfect, irrational, biased, creative, imaginative, emotional, and everything in between.
We are expected to thrive with an operating system that was built for survival.
We are fear-based creatures.
The sole responsibilities of our brains and bodies are to keep us alive long enough to procreate so we don’t go extinct.
Which is why we seek comfort, predictability, and certainty.
It’s why uncertainty bothers us and change makes us quiver.
We evolved to seek out threats and protect ourselves from them.
And this explains why it’s so much easier to spot the negatives in a situation or the dangers of a situation than the positives or potential.
It’s easier to see what can go wrong than it is to see what can go right.
Negative emotions stick with us up to 7x more than positive emotions.
All because of our survival instincts.
Imagine you’re weighing yourself every single day for a week straight.
I’m sure you’ve done this before or are currently in the habit of doing it right now.
The week plays out like this …
Day 1: -1, Day 2: +1, Day 3: -1, Day 4: +1, Day 5: -1, Day 6: +1, Day 7: -1
The net result of the week?
1 pound down.
An overall win if your goal is to lose weight.
However, it’s an emotional loss.
The scale going up 1 pound will hurt more than the equivalent success (the scale going down 1 pound).
This concept applies to every aspect of life.
Losing $1,000 dollars will hurt more than winning $1,000 will feel good.
Once again, welcome to being a survival-based animal.
Things going wrong are perceived as “threats” so we hold onto them more than we do when things go right.
You can be doing incredibly well with making progress and still FEEL like you’re at a net negative because of the emotional loss.
For example, let’s continue with the situation above.
You ended up losing 1 pound for the week … and let’s also say you felt stronger in the gym and noticed more energy.
However, you were frustrated on the days when the scale went up and you had two days where you completely felt off track.
Even with the amazing progress you’re making … it might feel like you’re struggling.
“I just can’t stay consistent. I feel like I’m failing.”
That’s the emotional loss … even if you’re actually at a logical win.
Now, take it one step further and you’ll easily see why you’re setting yourself up for failing without even knowing it.
What do you consider to be a “success?”
If I had to venture a guess … I’d say it looks a lot like perfection.
“Success” = nailing my macros, getting my steps in, getting my workout in, drinking my water, getting quality sleep, managing stress, and seeing tangible progress.
Am I right?
See where I’m going with this?
We already know that a loss will hurt more than an equivalent win will feel good.
So with those expectations and standards that you’re setting for yourself …
When do you feel good?
You’ve created a scenario where perfection is the standard and anything less than that will result in an emotional loss … even if you’re making progress.
Stop setting yourself up for failing and start setting yourself up for success.
What if … your standard for success was much more realistic and sustainable?
What if … you only had 1-3 things that you needed to achieve each day to “win” the day?
What if … you celebrated when bad shit doesn’t happen.
Most of the time, we only celebrate the milestone victories.
10 lbs. down, 25 lbs. down, 50 lbs. down, etc.
We celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc.
What about the days when bad shit doesn’t happen?
If we’re hard wired to more easily spot the bad than the good … we have to be intentional about leveling the playing field.
So when you have a day where bad shit doesn’t happen, when you have a day where you don’t blow yourself up …
Celebrate.
Count the win.
Give yourself the emotional edge.
I’m not sure if this is even making sense.
But I hope it resonates with somebody!
