This date is always one that sticks out in my mind.
As a hip-hop diehard, saying March 9th out loud makes me think of a random lyric …
“The greatest rapper of all time died on March 9th.”
The lyric is referencing The Notorious B.I.G. who died 25 years ago today.
I guess I’m showing my age when I say that his first album, Ready to Die, was the very first album I owned.
Hip-hop had a huge influence on my life.
It opened my eyes in a number of ways.
I could write a whole book on this topic alone, but I’ll spare you since I know not everyone is a fan of the genre.
One of the things I admired so much about Biggie, was his ability to tell a story.
Remember the 10 Crack Commandments?
Many of my favorite artists are incredible story tellers and I’d like to think that’s helped me with my own creative expression.
Biggie wrote a song called 10 Crack Commandments where he essentially outlines the playbook for pushing crack on the streets.
Now … some people might frown upon that and consider it a bad influence.
However, I viewed it differently.
I looked at it as a peek into the mindset of an individual who felt like that’s what needed to be done to survive.
Eventually, he used music as his way out.
And, in just a short period of time, was regarded as one of the best rappers of all time.
To pay homage to one of my favorite story tellers on the 25th anniversary of his passing …
I’m going to deliver a different kind of playbook.
The 10 Crash Dieting Commandments.
Just like Biggie felt like selling crack was necessary to stay afloat …
Many of us have felt like crash dieting was necessary to get what we wanted.
Did I just compare selling crack to crash dieting?
Damn straight I did lol.
Let’s get to it …
This will be especially fun if you know the song.
My playbook is slightly different.
How to avoid getting sucked into the hype of crash diets.
The 10 Crash Dieting Commandments …
“I’ve been in this game for years, it made me an animal.
It’s rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual.”
A step-by-step booklet for you to get …
Your body on track, not have your fat come back.
Rule Number Uno, please let someone know …
How much stress you hold, cause you know …
The diet be stressin’ me ‘specially …
If the food ain’t up, get yo’ weight stuck up.
Number 2, need to get your body up and move …
Don’t you know our bodies need compliance with science?
Take it from your highness.
If you take more trips with your feet then weight dips and rips.
Number 3, please trust your bo-dy …
Your food’ll set that ass up, properly gassed up …
I know this task sucks, shit, don’t get fast stuck …
There’s a diet in the bushes that’ll mess your ass up.
Number 4, I know you heard this before …
Never rely on your own to comply.
Number 5, never trust a quack with diet facts …
I don’t care if you lose an ounce, tell ’em bounce!
Number 6, that goddamn deficit? Dead it …
You think the body fat ain’t coming back, shit forget it!
Number 7, this rule is so underrated …
Keep your fitness and nutrition completely integrated …
Low cals and weights don’t mix like 2 chips and no dips …
Find yourself in serious shit.
Number 8, learn to keep your weight off you!
There’s ways to keep your fun and regain none too.
Number 9 shoulda been Number 1 to me …
There will always be days where it’s simply gloomy.
If you end up in the kitchen, take a second to listen …
Don’t just give in to the itching, when the cravings are hitting.
Number 10, a strong word called alignment …
Strictly for jivin’, with your assignment.
If you ain’t got non negotiables, say hell no!
Cause you gotta follow through rain, sleet, hail, snow.
Follow these rules you’ll have mad pounds to break up …
If not, 24 years trying to make up.
Guru hits your inbox, watch your body shake up …
Results that they made up, when you read it.
You thought it was a layup, heard in three weeks …
You eat a whole half a cake up.
Heard you gained it all back, and plus heard the taste sucked …
Gotta go gotta go, more rules to make up, word up.
Any of those crash dieting rules resonate with you?
Well, there you have it.
That was way more difficult than I thought when I had this idea.
And I’m sure 90% of you probably have no idea what I’m referencing lol but that’s ok.
Those that know it, will appreciate it.
Sometimes I write to add value.
Sometimes I write as part of my own therapy.
And sometimes I write just to entertain myself and get creative.
This was definitely number 3.
