I have probably lost and gained a cumulative total of over 300 lbs.
It’s wild to think about that.
I have lost weight many times and then gained it back … plus some.
If I really did the math, I’m guessing it would be even more, considering my first attempt resulted in about 80 lbs. of weight loss, followed by 80 lbs. of weight gain.
That’s 160 right there. Elementary school math ftw!
Even when I was hovering around 200 lbs. for a while, I became orthorexic and then dropped down to 165 before ballooning back up to over 200.
That was my life.
That was my life for the better part of a decade.
I lost weight, gained weight, and learned along the way.
I used to think back at those moments. Those decisions. Those miserable days and nights of starving myself and think about how dumb I was.
Did I really think a 1200 calorie meal plan was the answer? Did I really believe that drinking 4 shakes per day and 1 meal was going to solve all of my problems?
Like for real, come on, Michael.
Now I think back with gratitude for my body. Because holy hell, I put this thing through the ringer.
No wonder I ended up with hypothyroidism and Hashimotos and major gut health issues.
My body was just trying to protect me and I never listened.
I’m grateful that the signals became too loud to ignore. I’m grateful that I kept trying to learn and get better. That I never gave up.
And now, I can say I’ve maintained my results for close to 10 years, which I never imagined would be possible.
The kid who spent 2 hours per day doing cardio which he hated.
The kid who drank freezing cold water each day because he read it would speed up his metabolism.
The kid who became obsessed with “clean eating” and would avoid social situations like the plague because he needed to stay perfect with his diet.
The kid who hated the way he looked when he was his leanest and still suffers from body dysmorphia.
The kid who used to stress about hitting his macros down to the gram each day and would be riddled with anxiety if he couldn’t track perfectly.
That kid. That kid has now been able to overcome all of that darkness to be in a place of balance and peace.
I say kid because even though all of that happened mostly in my twenties, I still feel like I was a child who just kept repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
I miss that kid. I respect that kid. But I could no longer be that kid if I wanted to accomplish anything significant.
How I lost weight and kept it off for GOOD
Here’s exactly what I did to end the constant frustration of losing and gaining the same weight over and over again, and finally keep the weight off for good.
1. I stopped trying to fix everything all at once.
I set goals that were small and manageable.
– 10 minute walk each day and then I built up from there
– Go to bed 30 mins earlier and then I built up from there
– 10 minutes of self care each day and then I built up from there
– 80 oz. of water per day and then I built up from there
– 70% quality foods and then I built up from there
I took it one step at a time, one thing at a time.
2. I began rewarding myself for the process more than the outcome.
The scale used to rule my world. If it said a number I didn’t want to see, I would make terrible choices. I would be bitter and disappointed all day. I would stop doing all of the things that made me feel better.
Almost as if I was securing the poor mood that started with a number.
Once I let go of the outcome and started putting my attention and energy in the process … everything changed.
3. I had to get real with myself about what sacrifices were necessary.
I used to eat and drink like an asshole every single weekend. I thought I could out work my bad habits. That if I was ruthlessly consistent every week and trained like an animal, that I could drink and eat as much as I wanted on the weekends.
It never worked. In fact, it made things worse. It left me frustrated and confused.
I had to get honest about how those habits were serving me and what I wanted for my life.
Those behaviors had to go because they didn’t align with who I wanted to become.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
4. I spent a year in maintenance and took a mental break from fat loss.
One of the most challenging years of my life. And also the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental and physical health.
My batteries were absolutely drained from always trying to diet. From mentally wanting to lose weight every second of every day. I don’t know about you but I had a running dialogue in my head on repeat that told me I needed to lose weight.
I finally got to turn that noise off and focus on thriving and strength and muscle.
It tested me in every way. Shout out to my coach Bryan Krahn who led me through that year.
5. I invested in a REAL coach.
I was the king of quick fixes. I had spent so much money on cheap programs, templates, fad diets, and anything else that promised me fast results. I was the easiest sell for any diet marketer.
So you can imagine my surprise when I heard the price tag of a truly personalized coaching process.
I could feel my brain resisting. I could feel my brain trying to keep me in my comfort zone. I had every excuse in the world as to why I shouldn’t do it.
Thankfully, I took the leap. I figured … if I were able to do this on my own, it would’ve happened already.
One of the best investments I’ve ever made. Shout out to Coach Thibs for teaching me why everything else had failed me up until that point and how to understand my own personality to make progress.
6. I upgraded my identity.
I had to become the person who eats well.
I had to become the person who lifts weights.
I had to become the person who prioritizes sleep and self care.
I had to become the person who moves their body each day.
I created a vision of the future version of me and I got really familiar with that person.
7. I removed the finish line.
Probably the biggest needle mover for me, personally.
I was always in a rush. I was always trying to get results in a day or a week or a month.
Once I recognized that I wanted my results to last forever, I took a breath. I finally relaxed.
I realized that I can fall in love with the process. That the gift is in the journey itself.
I embraced it, fully. I embodied it.
I’ll never be a finished product and I don’t want to be.
Here’s some truth that I feel like many people don’t admit …
Even when you “make it”, even when you’ve been able to maintain your results for a long time …
You still struggle. I still struggle … daily.
My natural tendency is to restrict. Sometimes I feel like less is always the answer.
I still have body dysmorphia. Sending my current coach progress pictures is uncomfortable for me.
I still have that voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough.
The struggle doesn’t disappear.
You simply become more adept at handling it.
And even still … sometimes I don’t handle it well at all.
But I act with compassion and curiosity to keep learning and improving.
I keep showing up.
I’m grateful for the ride. Even if it feels heavy at times.
My hope is that this message helps you move forward by one simple step today. Whether you’ve lost weight in the past and then gained it all back or you’re just starting to reach toward your health and wellness goals, there IS hope!
